ideal guy

obviously wouldn't be this picky in real life..but just to write it out.

1.Religion- Not too religious or too liberal. not the type who says birthdays are bidat, mehndis are bidat, short sleeves are bad, etc. but not the type who drinks either
2.Looks--taller than me in heels, on the slim side, average complexion. and a sharp nose looks really attractive..but it's a weird thing to like...i wud wither in shame if anyone knew i like this weird feature lol
3.Location--doesnt matter but must have spent a few years abroad so we have some experiences in common. I can settle in US, Canada, UK, UAE, etc. for the right person...it is not a big deal for me. Actually I am interested in moving out of my state so I'd prefer not to settle here.
4. Wife working-OK with wife pursuing education or working outside home after marriage.
5.Wife stay at home- if i stay at home after marriage, wouldn't call it "just sitting around at home all day". Would respect it like any other 'outside the home' job.
6. Chores-- he can't be like A & H!! they are soo annoying. leaving beard hair and water all over the counter, dirty dishes under the sofa, etc. i am not even super picky, i leave bed unmade and clothes in the laundry basket, but those things don't affect other people. it's not just a matter of picking up dishes, it's just being inconsiderate because it means you don't even have consideration for other people's time. oh god this annoys me so much...seriously...i would rather have a hubby make 100k vs 200k rather than have one that is a slob.
7. hygiene- if he smells offensive like A, it doesn't matter about the other personality traits, he's out! A guy doesn't need cologne or anything fancy, simply BEING CLEAN is nice. he should have clean hair (no greasy smelly hair), clean nails (no super long nails with tons of black stuff under them), and he should definitely brush his teeth at night. Tongue scraper and floss is a bonus but i can't ask that. He doesn't have to have a colgate smile, just no nasty black lines in his teeth or loose gums like ppl in Pakistan have.
8. Admits mistakes and apologizes. Not grudgy.
9. Straightforward, doesn't give the silent treatment for two months and expect me to figure out what's going on.
10. No addictions like computers, dungeons and dragons, girls, alcohol, etc.
11.Social skills-- it's ok if he's a little bit shy, but he shouldn't be the type of guy who can't carry a convo, hates it when mehmaan come over, who can't stand having relatives stay in the house, etc.
12.Space- No clingy insecure types. if he's the type who gets jealous or mopey if i go out for an evening alone or for a week to my parents house, that is not cool. I would give him the same space too, if he wants to go for a weekend fishing or whatever, or wants me to leave the house when his friends come over, it doesn't bother me. if he friends his girl cousin on facebook, i am not going to launch an investigation. i don't think spouses should suffocate each other. Also doesn't call me every hour (but is still caring and loving).
13.Money (joint or separate accounts)--not sure about this. 2 working spouses can have a joint account and then their own separate accounts, however mom has a separate account and daddy becomes very cheap sometimes...he gets insecure even if mom has $200 in her account and hides his card. and we can't even say anything cuz then he'll be like "i pay the rent". so mom doesn't save any of her paycheck, it is depleted every month and then dad's card is used which i think is not nice at all. but mom doesn't care, she is very generous with her money.
hopefully my husband won't be like dad in this regard. with a good spouse, we could have a joint account and we wouldn't question each other's purchases. especially as a SAHM, it would be really annoying to spend, say, $20 on a shirt and then have it questioned...it would make me feel like a child. maybe i would ask for a small 'stipend' for myself so i won't feel weird buying gifts for hubby from a 'joint account'. i rem when we were little, when we bought gifts for father's day, daddy used to just say "oh u got it from my account anyway, just return it"...i don't think that's nice. so if i'm sahm, separate account.
14.Money (attitudes)--i'm the type of person who likes to save money, buy things on clearance, drive cheap cars, dry my clothes outside, etc. but i splurge on food, travel and gifts. it's ok if the hubby is different (eg. loves fashion, fancy cars, etc) as long as we save a little bit of our income each month. Not the type who has creditors calling every month.
15. ABCD or FOB- I like ABCDs because they have a more egalitarian view of things, for example, they don't mind helping out around the house. Also, their moms are a lot more understanding since their own daughters are like me. And they probably work themselves so they usually don't have unrealistic desi-style expectations of their bahu. But I love how FOBs (not the fresh ones, more like the ones who've been here a decade) are able to fit in perfectly with both 'worlds'. also, they seem to have more drive and ambition. ugh.. my ideal would be a fob who has been here long enough that he helps out, isn't controlling, and doesn't want joint family setup.
16. Visa- it would be super annoying to get married and then wait 3, 4 years for visa or whatever to clear. sponsorship is ok but i don't wanna marry a guy who can't even enter the US.
17. Joint family- even next door is ok, but same house definitely not!
18. Compatible mom- i think the mom is most important in having a happy relation with the family so I want her to be like a good friend or aunt, not someone i feel awkward around. Basically someone like S's MIL (or i guess, my image of her)...she seems very reasonable, easy to talk to, and level headed and said from the outset that she raised her children to be independent and while they are close, she wants them to live in their own house. I found her not to be very girly and a little brusque before, but now I find her perfect. :)
19. Not too 'gushy'- most girls usually gush over a guy who texts them every hour but that would annoy me...i don't like the overly effusive guys either who are like "love you xoxoxkiskisksi" in every sentence. mooshiness is ok but i always see the slutty girls being the most verbal about their love. i thin real love is the type that one can sense just sitting together or by caring things you do.

Rating for M:

++same level of religious practice, compatible height, location is ok, ok with sahm, neat, good hygiene, not grudgy, not addicted to computers, gives me space, really caring, seems generous with money, balanced between ABCD and FOB, not gushy but really loving.

-- iffy about wife working after kids, not a conversationalist, visa problem for the last 3 years, seems pampered so won't do chores, he wants to live in joint family, and has a really sheltered mom. the biggest negative, BY FAR, is the joint family thing...i feel ehhh inside when i think of it. i try to get happy for him, but i've never really liked the idea. maybe will write a post about why later...